Confessions of a Modern Witch: Pagan Blog Project 2012 - G

Confessions of a Modern Witch: Pagan Blog Project 2012 - G: Grimoire : gri·moire/grimˈwär/ What’s a grimoire?  A grimoire is a textbook of magic.  Usually these books contain spells, spell components...

Pagan Blog Project 2012 - G

Grimoire : gri·moire/grimˈwär/

What’s a grimoire?  A grimoire is a textbook of magic.  Usually these books contain spells, spell components and charms.  Many magical people use these books to collect all their spells and these can be passed from generation to generation.

These books are often finely decorated and sometimes made of soft leather.  In ancient times some of the earliest grimoires were actually on clay tablets.  Some of these tables have been discovered by archaeologists in the area of Iraq.

Some famous grimoires include the Sworn Book of Honorius which contained prayers and rituals and thought to be based on King Solomon.  Many of these types of texts were considered to be demonic as it was believed that this type of magic would not come from God but be the work of Satan.  Most of the books were destroyed as they were discovered.  In 1599 a book called Indexes of Prohibited Books was published by the Church which listed many grimiores including the Key of Solomon.
Brahms Bookworks
As we move out of the distant past we can see in several modern grimoires including The Secret Grimoire of Turiel and Simon Necronomicon listed. Be it famous or infamous a simple clay table to a finely bound leather masterpiece, the grimiore is the sum of all knowledge for the witch who write is.  Each spell written meticulously to be read aloud by only one voice.  

There are a lot of sources for grimoires today.  They can be found in bookstores, magic shops and even in Walmart.  Selecting the right book is as serious as selecting any other magical tool and should be treated accordingly.

Today a grimoire can be a little electronic book reader, called by the manufacture “Kindle”.  I’m sure you could name it whatever you ‘d like. 


I’ve been able to mimic this magic device with my iPhone.  Now I’m the proud owner of several older books at no charge at all.  I’ll list a few of these below.

After all my years as a solitary I have to admit, there are few ritual tools that I have actually acquired.  I’ve picked up a candle snuffer.  I have a scrying mirror and a crystal ball.  The rest of my tools find their way into my life in their own manner.  I’ve a skull for necromancy and candles for candle magic.  I have yet to find the perfect grimoire.  For now, I have several store bought books that have spells in them and the rest of my magic is tucked safely away in my brain.  I don’t have steps that I follow.  I call my quarters, I light my candles and I focus my energy on what my needs are.   

My Imbolc Altar

No bits of this or parts of that for my incantations.  No small pinches of this or rows of that for the spells I cast.  I offer to her garlic and honey, I close my eyes and invoke her.  I call her down to surround me with her energy and ask that her torches guide my way.
One day I may find the need to sit down and record these thoughts and feelings and perhaps, even without the outlined steps or spell components, it too will be a wonderful grimoire.

Namaste and Blessed Be

"F" Revisited and a Vent

So currently I'm participating in the Pagan Blog Project 2012 this past two weeks were on the letter F.  My week I chose the word Family and did my post on that.

I've been put in a position to where I'm taking care of my mother.  We never got along well and in fact up until January we didn't even really speak.  I liked it that way.  I didn't have to deal with all the old crap from my childhood.  I could go about my life, being happy with my hubby and spending time with our dogs.

How life changes in just a few months.  It's March now and here I sit at 8 in the morning barely rested because my mother woke me at 2 in the morning confused and standing in the hallway of our house.  She didn't make any sense at all and here I am trying to get her back into bed.  Apparently she had gotten lost from the bathroom to the bedroom.  Our bathroom door and the her bedroom door are literally 3 feet from each other.

I've had to update my calendar and change everything around because just in the month of April she's has 5 appointments, as well as an eye surgery scheduled after which she'll be completely blind for a number of hours.  The sight will return but we have to go back in for another treatment where again she'll be blind for a limited time.  I went from having no connection at all to having to be someone's complete caretaker.  It's becoming daunting.

I know that it's not her fault and I want to be the type of person to help others when they are in need.  I want to be able to assist someone in their transition to the underworld.  I need to find away to separate my old emotions from the person that's here today.  I also need to find a way to stop holding expectations of others.  I would gladly be here to help my hubby should he become in a state that he needed constant care.  But he never treated me like crap.  ARRRG  All the old stuff in my head.  Dealing with all this is so stressful that I've begun to put on weight and my tummy is on fire all the time.

Last night hubby says to me, you're not the same person any more.  In my effort to assist her, I've started to lose myself.  How is it that the "family" I have around me cannot see the toll this is taking on me and try to help me? 

We know why don't we?  It's because it's easier to let someone else do the work.  It's easier to sit back and toss out directions and offer suggestions but not actually do any of the work.  Something as complicated as working with Medicaid, getting the hospital bills paid and then suggestions around what's happening to the money. 

I have responsibilities too.  I have expectations and needs.  At one point I really wanted assistance.  I wanted help.  Now I'm jaded and bitter.  Now I don't want anything.  I just want to be here, finish my sentence and become free.

It sounds awful.  It sounds too much like someone I don't want to be.  However I cannot allow myself to hold expectations for others, only to be let down time and time again.  So I'm done.  I can count on one person and one person alone.  Together we will succeed.  Just like we did when we took care of his mother.  We'll get mine off to her afterlife and then we will move on.  No more information, no more calls, no more babying the situation.  It is what it is and I am done.

Family is not permission to be uncaring and hateful.  Family is not a pass to drop your responsibility in someone's lap just because you can.   Most of all, Family is not a group of people joined by DNA.  Family are those that lift you up.  Family make you smile.  Family see your burden and come over to shoulder the load.  Family may be blood, but generally its those people around you that CHOOSE to be related to you, not the ones that are there by blood.

If you know someone one that needs a bit of a lift, take this post as a reminder to pick up the phone, send them an email.  They just might not be as strong as you think they are.

Namaste and Blessed Be

Pagan Blog Project 2012 – F - 2

Pagan Blog Project – Letter F

Finding your deity
I’ve been a solitary for many years.  I had not felt much connection to any particular deity.  I did know that it was a female form but that was the extent of it.  Late last year I was chatting with a friend on Facebook and he mentioned Hekate to me.  I remember how odd I thought the spelling was because in my goddess chant and on several of my prayers I see the name spelled with a c and not a K.

I began to study Hekate and found that I was drawn to her.  As a child I was drawn to Greek mythology.  I read everything I could get my hands on.  My favorite was the story of Persephone and Hades, in which Hekate guides Persephone back and forth from the underworld.  During this time I also collected keys.  I found them intriguing and wanted to have lots of them.  I was not aware of Hekate’s status as a goddess and was unaware of the symbolism of the keys.
I experienced many experiences throughout my young adulthood of contact with the spirit world.  I had visits from those that had past looking for the correct place to go.  I would often bring home stray animals and have been drawn to dogs with masks and snakes.
Other links to Hekate in my life are these:
I worked on a blog project that some of you may remember called “What Makes You State Great?” for the “Hail Columbia” project against the NAR and Dominionism.  The goddess Columbia has often been compared to Hekate, also being a torchbearer.
An herb sacred to Hekate is belladonna.  I play an online game where for many years, my title was “Belladonna”. 
The Willow tree is my tree.
I spend a lot of time mapping cemeteries.  I started this when we moved here six years ago; very appropriate that my goddess is the goddess of graveyards. 

It took many years for me to find my Goddess.  Finding her was much more difficult than it was for her to find me.

In my adult practices I’ve had many visits from spirits that have passed.  I’ve seen aunts and uncles, cousins, friends and strangers.  This led me to enter a contest where I posted about my cousin’s passing and how he still visits me here.  He died at a cross roads, and without my knowledge of that event, I bought a house that ends at the exact opposite side of that place; also at a crossroad.  My blog entry resulted in my winning the contest and I got a copy of Christian Day’s book “The Witch’s book of the Dead”.  This is when I first formally met Hekate.
My studies opened up many things for me; my love of fire and torches, my connection to masks and magic; as well as my attraction to Samhain and keys to find me.  As I look back her influence has been there.  As the protector of the less fortunate, I feel that she has been here with me throughout my life, even if I have only just found her.

Sometimes it might not come to you right away, but finding your deity can be a wonderful experience.  

Below are some links that helped me find mine.
YouTube Channel – Hersacredfires
The Covenant of Hekate

This is a introduction video on Hekate.

 Namaste & Blessed Be

Pagan Blog Project 2012 – F

For the next two weeks our letter to work with is the letter F.  I thought about all the different magical and pagan words that I could work with.  There’s fairy, fire and familiar.  There are gods and goddesses Freya, Frigga or Faunus and Finn.  Decisions.  Decisions.

I decided that looking at my life; magical and mundane one of the most important things to me is family.  So I decided to write about just that.  Being a member of both the pagan community and the LGBT community I find that our families are most often made of up of what we call our “Family of Choice”.  These are the people we choose to surround ourselves with that give us what our birth family may not have provided.

That love and support that comes from gathering with like-minded people for the purpose of fellowship and fun is something that is crucial to one’s spiritual wellbeing.  I have dear friend that I don’t get to see every day however we share a bond that is closer than blood.  Our families may indeed also include our familiars. My house is filled to the brim with members of the animal kingdom that are very near and dear to my heart.

The world around us is estranged, each person breaking away from the land that nurtures us.  Our lack of communication with the trees and the Earth is slowly breaking down our ability to be one family; a family of Earthlings.  Our families, those of choice or birth are those that guide us when we need guidance, those that support us when we need support and those that love us when we need love.  Our families in spiritual send us healing energies and we in turn grow from that energy.

When I cast my circle and call to the quarters to watch over my rites, my first thoughts sent are protection and positive energy to my family.  My brothers and sisters who follow Hekate, my brothers and sisters in the pagan community and my family in the non-spiritual world.  All of you have a direct influence on my life and help me in one way or another to be who I am today.   No truer words were spoken than “It takes a village to raise a child.”  It also takes a village, a family to raise the world.

Holding my hand while I hold my breath
Lifting me up when I have fallen
Beacon of light when I am in the dark
Loving touch when I am afraid
Bandaging my heart when it has been broken
Most treasured possession and source of strength

Namaste & Blessed Be

 I'd like to post pictures of a few of those in my "Family" I hold dear.  And oddly enough, they're all on another "F" word.  Facebook!

Pagan Blog Project 2012 - E

As part of the Pagan Blog Project 2012 we are asked to write about something using letters of the alphabet.  Our post should be related to Paganism in general.  I’m starting this project late so my first post is on the letter E.

I’ve thought about this all week and considered writing about energy, eclectic witch or elements.  I then thought about what’s going on in my life right now and decided that I would choose a different word.  This word is going to encompass all the words above.  My word today is Expectations. 

What are expectations? 

1. the act or the state of expecting: to wait in expectation.
2. the act or state of looking forward or anticipating.
3. an expectant mental attitude: a high pitch of expectation.
4. something expected; a thing looked forward to.
5. Often, expectations. a prospect of future good or profit: to have great expectations.

So let’s look at this from the spiritual prospective.

As Pagans many of us are set with expectations from others around us.  Recently on FB a bunch of shared photos pointed this out quite literally.

Here’s one from The Internet Witch’s Page

We are presented with expectations from our families and from our support groups. Covens have expectations.  In general as Pagans we are grounded to our world through being in touch with the elements.  We feel the energy from the world around us and incorporate that into our daily lives.  We present others with this energy and send it out to make the world a better place.  Being eclectic in nature, even those with in a very traditional practice would still take from a wide range of sources and add those to the main pool of energy from which we all draw from.
Some expectations are those that we send out to others, be it our community leaders; and using this term I’m speaking about those we look to for their opinions on certain things.  Such as the recent events around trans women inclusion in Dianic covens or even thoughts around pagans offering services for hire.   We look to these bloggers, coven leaders, priest and priestess to provide a litmus test on what is or is not accepted by our community.  

Most of all I think we have self-expectations.  We expect ourselves to be a true representative of our deity.  We expect our lives to reflect what we feel inside.  The energy we project to be sent out in a positive protective way and the energy we receive to be the same. 
Recently some personal changes in my life had led me to rethink my expectations; those expectations that I had of others and those of me.  I’m working hard to center my energy and maintain that positive outlook that I do believe I’m known for. 

My expectations today are that I am able to continue learning about my world and give back something positive to the world in return.  I’ve started my year out with a dedication to follow Hekate, I am ending my post this week with a poem to her.

Namaste and Blessed Be

Hekate, Goddess of Darkness
I offer this to you
Honey & Garlic on your altar
Next to the wand made of Yew.

Hekate, Protector of Women
Guardian of the crossroads
As the black dogs howl
I am burdened by these heavy loads.

Hekate, Queen of the Night
By the dagger and the serpent
Advocate for those in need
And return to those all that is sent.

Hekate, the triple formed Torchbearer
As you guided Demeter to her end
I look to you for Strength and knowledge
Where the roads bend.

Golden Phoenix Society

I wanted to take a moment to push my new group.  We have a website where you can check us out there.

We are a group of individuals dedicated to bringing positive energy to those around us.  We have a range of practitioners, including Pagan, Agnostic and Atheist.  We accept all in our group.  We have LGBT and Straight Allies.

We're a brand new group and we're currently working on getting our non-profit status.  To assist with that I created a Chip-In for us.  If you'd like to help a baby group get off the ground please take a moment and donate a few coins to our cause.

Namaste and Blessed Be

Pagan Blog Project 2012

Good morning everyone!  I found a post today to my dear friend Kallan's blog.  She's participating in the Pagan Blog Project 2012 and I (along with many others) participated in the "What Makes Your State Great" blog project last year.

We spent 50 days working diligently to combat the NAR's prayer war against our nation.  I really like participating this these type of organized blogging projects.

So I've decided to take up the suggestion and work on this project.  So get ready for some fun times ahead.  If you'd like to participate head over to the info site here hosted by Rowan Pendragon of One Witch's Way.