Violence Equals Violence

Today just a day after my rituals regarding the Mallory Owens incident, I'd like to talk about something that people by this time in human development should be aware of. Violence equals violence.

At my now, 42 years I've become quite the pacifist.  I don't want to see wars.  I believe we should not be blowing people up.  Over anything.  I sit sometimes and watch the news and think, it's just a piece of dirt.  Yes, I know you think its holy, and they think its holy and OH YEAH this group over here thinks its holy but guess what?  It's still dirt.  You know what's more important?  Having children hear a plane and not duck for cover.  People are turning into these uncaring beasts.

Over the last few days I've seen, dogs being tied to cars and drug, women beaten to a bloody pulp, kids dying in air strikes and what for?  What exactly is this all for?

Mallory has come forward and stated that her attack though unjustified was not a hate crime.   She said, "He had his reasons."  That sounds very familiar to things battered women say.  I still follow the page that seems to have been created by her mother, who is very very concerned about her.  I can honestly say, if my child looked like that, and I knew she was in the same house with that same person, I would be scared for her.

An attack, whether a physical attack on a child in your care; an attack on a wife or partner, an attack on a stranger tied to a fence, or a bomb flying through the air destroying a school, is still one thing.  It is violence.  We are an advanced people.  We are the products of evolution.  We are the products of arts and education.  We have millions of years of learning, and relearning things and yet we sit and continue to make the same mistakes.  

It is not my place to say that Mallory is lying or if she is just suffering from a battered spouse situation.  I do know one fact.  At the hands of one man, she was beaten so badly her mother didn't recognize her.  There is no reason to hurt another this way.  We should not be allowing people who are capable of the massive amount of rage it takes to beat a person like that out on the street.

Yesterday in my blog post I stated that I wanted to donate some of my sales to her hospital bills.  I think maybe a better option might be to donate to a women's shelter or group home.  I have not had anyone purchase based on my offer to donate to Mallory so I'm comfortable setting out this challenge to my blog followers.

Do not take her defense of her attacker as a dismissal of his behavior.  There are many people out there who believe that date rape is fine, there are many people who think that women should not have rights and there are many people who believe that people of color are less than.  When asked by social services as a 5th grader if I was being abused I said no.  I keep it secret that I was being hit by my second husband.  To admit that you are being abused is a very difficult thing.  And many continue to return to the violence because they don't know anything else.

We may not be able to help Mallory directly.  No more than we could help Matthew Sheppard or the many other victims out there.  We can however put the world on notice that we will not tolerate violence and ultimately this is what this is about.  Violence equals violence.

If you or someone you love is being abused please reach out to your local police department or search on the web for violence support. For more information on domestic violence check out this link.

Namaste & Blessed Be

1 comment

Unknown said...

Coming from an abuse survivor - it could be she feels that something she said or did caused the attack, when in all actuallity he is the blame. (And I am not taking either side in this discussion)I am just stating that in my relationship I often felt that I caused his irrational snaps that lead to me wearing long sleeves in August & a couple of trips to the emergency room.