Mulengro - Guilt

I've been participating in a book club reading the book Witchcraft Theory and Practice by Ly de Angeles.  Thus far there has been a great deal of introspection.  Understanding my own motives and my own responsibility for what I bring into the world.

I thought it might be interesting to do a few blog posts around the seven faces of mulengro and see how they play out not only in the magical world but also the mundane.  

Mulengro is the name of an entity that is like an alien barb; one that has become an out-of-control arrow that pierces generation upon generation with its poison. It feeds on its own likeness and people are its hosts.  - Ly de Angeles - Witchcraft Theory and Practice pg 29

Photo Credit - Google

synonyms:  culpability, guiltiness, blameworthiness; wrongdoing, wrong, criminality, misconduct, sin
antonyms: innocence

Guilt has a special place in my heart and mind.  As a student of the law and a devotee of the Goddess Hecate, I can say in regards to justice, guilt has reared its head many times.  I struggled a bit with looking at guilt from the perspective of mulengro.  I couldn't wrap my head around the guilt as a noun being what I should avoid or guilt as a verb.  I grabbed a water and had a chat with my sister to figure this out.

When we think about guilt we have to look at it as being a burden.  It is something that weighs  you down.  My sister helped me understand that this is what the base emotion is around it.  Before when I thought of guilt I thought of what happens when we go to court, or when my mother wanted me to do something for her because, "I was the oldest."  I then looked back at Witchcraft Theory and Practice page 29 - "These faces (behind each of them are the other six) are all vices of disrespect."

When I think about guilt and how it relates to my relationship with my mother I can immediately see the others there.  I see assumption there, I see greed and envy.  They are there, just out of site, hiding behind guilt.  There, through the sides I see deceit and denial waiting for their opportunity to burst in and join the clan.  I get it!

So as we look at this guilt, this weight that is placed on us by others to carry around, or the weight that we assign others, we have to understand that the feeling, that nagging feeling of obligation is something that we choose to carry. Let me expand on that.

Today if my mother came to me and said, "You must do this for me because you are my oldest child and it is expected of you"; I would flatly deny her.  After years and years of her guilt and her weighing me down with that burden, I can today stand up and say, "No, I will not do that."  

Why?  Why not just do what she asks and move on?  I think it falls back to the burden.  If we keep adding more and more on our plates eventually we fill up.  Even with expectations from others. (HA! There it is again)

Today, I don't participate in double meanings or mixed messages to trick others.  I speak my mind and say exactly how I feel.  I ask for help directly and accept what those are willing to freely give.  I don't expect anyone to always be there for me instead I appreciate when they are.  I think that is a start on learning how to recognize any guilt I may be sending out.


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