Bone Songs Myth & Magic - February Theme - Self Love

  As a member of the group called Bone Songs Myth and Magic, a group of gifted Pagan practitioners offer their experiences and guidance in their field of expertise. This past month our theme was Focus.  I wanted to share my contribution to this group with my blog audience and offer you the opportunity to find us and join us for our journey into learning more about ourselves and how we interact with the magical realm.

Here's my offering for February's theme called Self Love. I hope you enjoy.

Love Yourself First

Happy February! It is that time of the year when our focus switches to LOVE!  But why is that? What makes February the month of love?  Well, in AD 496 Pope Gelasius I established the Feast of Saint Valentine on February 14th. Later in the 14th Century, February became associated with romantic love. Over the years lovers would exchange love notes (referred to as valentines), candy and sometimes keys as symbols of their affection. While loving others is certainly something that is extremely important, I’d like to talk about something that often goes unmentioned in this lovefest.  Self-love.

Self love is defined as having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Taking care of yourself and not allowing anyone else to detract from that.  Even if that person is you. Self-love is not allowing others to treat you in a way that lessens your worth. Holding yourself in a circle of love and honor where you require that all who enter, treat you with respect and care. 

From my experiences in life, I can tell you that often I was told that I needed to sacrifice myself, my dreams, my wants or desires to be sure that those under my care came first. My college classes set aside, my choice of movie or even what pizza to get was determined by others in my life. I could just “pick off” what I didn’t like and deal with what I was given. Many of you may be in a similar circumstance right now. I allowed others to dictate what I would allow in my life and in turn ended up being negative to myself. Self loathing and self abuse were commonplace in my life. 

I finally came to terms with what I wanted in my life and how I wanted to be treated. I had to stop looking outside for things to make me happy and work on what I already had within me. All the tools I needed for happiness were right here and right now. I had to simply stop looking into tomorrow or crying about the past and focus on what I had right now. What did I need to be happy? What did I need to feel loved? I needed to let go of the things that were making me unhappy, and quite often, the thing making me unhappy was me. 

I started mindfully doing things. I would mindfully practice my faith. Mindfully do my chores and mindfully practice self-love. These things helped me move from a position of martyr to champion. Today I do not sacrifice myself at the expense of unhappiness simply to please another. I’m sure you’re thinking, but how do I do this? What is something real and tangible that I can do today to practice self-love?

“The whole cosmos has come together to create you. You carry the whole cosmos inside you. That is why, to accept yourself and to love yourself is an expression of gratitude.” - Thich Nhat Hanh

Well, start small. Take a moment to appreciate things that you enjoy. You don’t need to paint the Mona Lisa, but you do need to paint; if it brings you joy.  You don’t need to be the next Marlon Brando, but if you love it.. ACT! So many times we just don’t try to do the things we enjoy because we can’t monetize it, or we can’t do it professionally. Look around your life and think about those things that bring you joy and DO THEM. Make some jewelry, draw a picture, play an instrument. Do things that make you happy and soon you’ll begin to see that all long within you is all you need for happiness. Be kind to yourself, take a long leisurely bath, or go for a run. Do these things that make you truly happy and you’ll see a change.

We have to look within ourselves and be sure that we are the best we can be before we can begin to take care of others.  Think about it this way, if we have a jug of water, and we use this jug to fill the cups of those who need water, pretty soon our jug will be empty. The same applies to love.  If we do not take the time to care for ourselves and nourish our energy soon we will have nothing left to give to anyone else.

“If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love someone else?” - Rupaul

I have often heard that self-love is selfish. I believe this could not be further from the truth. To me, Self-love is caring while selfishness is manipulative. Self-care is looking for wellbeing and sharing and selfishness is taking something from someone else. To love yourself is not selfish, it is self esteem. It is putting your health and wellbeing in the forefront allowing you the energy and the strength to move forward in your care of others.

The World Health Organization defines self-care as “the ability of individuals, families and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and to cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a healthcare provider”.  We have within us the power to heal the world. We just need to start with ourselves. So I recommend, for this Valentine’s Day, take yourself on a date.  Give yourself a valentine. Don’t criticize or say hurtful things to yourself. Love yourself first!

PS  - Don’t pick off the toppings you don’t like.  Order your own pizza!  



Rev. Renee Sosanna Olson - CSM, PMI-ACP

Ordained Spiritual Counselor

Certified Holistic Wellness Coach

International Yogi Certification

Certified Crystal Master & Aroma Therapy Practitioner


History of Saint Valentine’s Day -

Saint Valentine’s Day  -

Self-Love and What It Means -

Self Care Strategies -


Self Compassion -

How do I love Myself -

Learning to love Myself -


Journaling Entries - Use Valentine’s Day to write a “love note” to yourself. Complement yourself on what you do well or what you have accomplished this year. 

Do What you enjoy - Take yourself out to dinner or treat yourself to a meal you prepared at home. Make something special that you love and makes you feel good. Go for a walk, or spend some time outside in the fresh air. Living a healthy lifestyle will not only make your body feel better but it will help your mind grow and become more mindful.

Everyday Valentines - Grab a stack of sticky notes and jot down things on them that are positive and make you feel good. Stick those notes all over the house. One on the bathroom mirror. One on the inside of a cabinet door. When you see them, read them out loud. I have notes around my house that tell me I’m beautiful, that I’m happy and that I’m a good person. Read them out loud every time you see them. This is self-love.

The Ultimate Guide to Channeling - A Review

 Today I'm reviewing The Ultimate Guide to Channeling - Practical techniques to Connect with Your Spirit Guide by Amy Sikarskie, Founder of Spirit School.

Author Link

Book Link

Release Date - January 18, 2022

I'll start with a review of the physical book.  This is a larger sized soft cover book. It isn't going to fit in your carry along bag, but it will fit in a full size backpack. The cover is slightly raised and has a lovely color. The pages are glossy and have some very small fonts on the initial pages but does enlarge as we move through the book.  It does revert back to the smaller font in some of the pages which could be a bit annoying. The color scheme is a lovely shade of calming purple, blue and green which I love.

The introduction page is beautiful. I love the color and the message. It is really one of the best descriptions of channeling I have ever seen. I love that the author states that we can channel in all sorts of ways. Music, singing, dancing and even through art. Not many make this distinction and I feel that it should be put out there more often. I always feel closer to the mystical realm when I'm singing and dancing around my circle. I can feel the energy come through me and messages are often received in this state. To me, that is channeling.

This book is divided in sections. In part one we have the Art of channeling, explaining exactly what channeling is. Part two is preparing to channel and part three is the act of channeling. Here the author talks about working with guided meditation, using tools and how to advance the work of channeling.

On page 30, the author mentions using the ancestors as guides in your channel experience. I believe these ancestors can be those we are directly related to, or those who may occupy the spaces that we're channeling in. Finding that connection can greatly increase the effectiveness of your channeling. Similarly working with mother earth, the elements or other beings such as spirit animals or archangels can direct your channeling to a specific place. Using this connection opens up the information locked in these areas and can greatly improve the effectiveness and accuracy of your channeling experience. 

The section on the charka is, in my opinion, one of the highlights of the book. The author provides in great detail each chakra and how it impacts your channeling.  The connecting with the energies exercise is extremely detailed and really effective. Take the time to go through the 60 minute version. I found a few reconnecting videos (not related to this book) that are great for just rolling through each of these and making sure everything is in alignment before beginning your channeling sessions. I'll include some chakra resources at the end of this article.

The entire book places focus on how to work with your team of support in the meditative process. From selecting who you will be calling on to establishing boundaries and guideline, the process is deliberate and fully explained. The author provides exercises for setting up your space and then connecting with those energies to help further the channeling experience. I felt the "Let Your Energy Flow" exercise on page 126 was very well done. With more chakra work and relaxation techniques the author gives us the tools to move the energy in our bodies. This chapter has several exercises to help get your energy moving in the right direction for the best experience.

I've always been fascinated by automatic writing. To me one of the ways of connecting with other sources of energy is with this technique. I studied Edgar Cayce for years and was really amazed as his ability to lay down and enter a trance state and then have someone write down his comments. While not a traditional automatic writing technique more of a dream state or trance state channeling/divination session, I found that if we could write from our dreams automatically this would certainly be the way to do it. But back to the book, this author gives us an overview of automatic writing, how to light trance write and then provides exercises to connect with the process. I think the inclusion of the message from the Council of Light was a great addition to the chapter.  I really enjoyed this. When you try it out, come back and tell me how you did. 

By far, I think the strongest chapter in this book is related to the support connection. Having a stable connection with the guides we choose to work with in this process is key to how successful we will be. The emphasis on the chakras, the breath and energy focus is something that I have found missing in many books on this topic. The author guides us on how to deal with blocks and doubts as well as begin our connection with our guides. Working through the process of the interaction with them and what we should expect. 

Well written and excellently illustrated, I found this book to be a great resource for those interested in channeling both novice and experienced alike. The detailed exercises and focus on how we care for ourselves really pinpoints the essence of channeling work.  To do a job well, you must keep your tools well cared for. As a logger sharpens their axe, so must we hone our tools to do the work that we do in the spiritual realm. I highly recommend picking up this book.



Chakras Explained

Unblocking Chakra - Overnight meditation

Automatic Writing

Edgar Cayce

What is automatic Writing?